[yeah she would also like to know why the fuck! well. she knows, she knows this is her own doing, but she'd like to know why it's manifesting the way that it is.
lucretia lets her in, though-- she's wearing a red set of robes she got from the date auction happening, and her right arm is in a sling. there are bandages visible around her throat and left hand, and she types something in on her phone to let text to speech speak for her.]
[-oh, no. she shifts the phone to her right hand for a moment, so she can reach out and rest a hand on beau's arm for just a second, then taps out another message as she sits down on the bed and gestures for beau to have a seat too.]
It isn't your fault, Beauregard. Just because this place pulled from what you knew-- that wasn't your doing.
she's just looking at the phone screen, not... typing anything else, and her own Bad Vibes feelings just intensify there. it's a mess of just-- guilt. some regret. uncertainty and grief, an unsettled feeling, an odd sense of loneliness. she remembers what she experienced after, still; she's not going to forget that any time soon.]
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w4, friday
Hey
Are you okay
Where are you
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[this has been a highly frustrating and kind of terrible experience.]
I'm at my dorm.
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[the fuck, lucretia
anyway she'll come to the dorm and send her a message to let her know she's here]
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lucretia lets her in, though-- she's wearing a red set of robes she got from the date auction happening, and her right arm is in a sling. there are bandages visible around her throat and left hand, and she types something in on her phone to let text to speech speak for her.]
We can speak in my room, again.
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... Sure, yeah. [she'll follow lucretia, and then, like it's trying to burst out of her:] -- I'm sorry.
[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]
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It isn't your fault, Beauregard. Just because this place pulled from what you knew-- that wasn't your doing.
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... I know, it wasn't on purpose. Just. Still. [she will go sit down, though.] I heard what happened, mostly.
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I take it you're missing the part where we were separated? Or was there more?
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... And you heard Lucien's voice.
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We did. We never saw him, we only heard him talk about-- a city. The 'Somnovem'.
[and she hated that speech, thanks.]
It was after we escaped the room where we heard him that we were separated.
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... Where'd you end up?
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[...she doesn't volunteer more immediately, because thinking about this part of it is-- it's also a little rough.]
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-- In the woods? [haha FUCK]
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Did - you didn't make a deal with her, did you?
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she's just looking at the phone screen, not... typing anything else, and her own Bad Vibes feelings just intensify there. it's a mess of just-- guilt. some regret. uncertainty and grief, an unsettled feeling, an odd sense of loneliness. she remembers what she experienced after, still; she's not going to forget that any time soon.]
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... Lucretia. [she says, quietly.] It's - fine. It wasn't real. It couldn't have been.
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[her fingers tremble, slightly, when she types.]
I rejected her at first, the first offer was something I could do myself, but it was the one thing, Beauregard.
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[...] I almost did the same thing. I almost took the deal, to fix my friend. Maybe Caleb's talked about her. Nott. Veth.
[beau shifts, uncomfortable.] I was gonna give the fucking hag everything. To fix Veth. So I get it.
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[she's mentioned, before, how they lost one of their number. there's some more of that feeling of grief.]
When we were attacked, it was her. She was crying the entire time. She begged me to help her, and there was only one way that I could.
[...there wasn't anything else she could have done, after that. there really wasn't. she had to accept.]
I know it wasn't real, I know, but the effects of it are. At least for now.